10:Prodigal Single Male

Today I am going to address a different type of lifestyle participant. You’ve all seen them, and probably had some time of interaction with at least one of them in your endeavors. For those of you that have not yet had the pleasure of being approached by one of these people, don’t fret, your time will come if you choose to stay in the lifestyle. Who am I talking about? I’m talking about the infamous single male. Let me start by saying, to you single males that might be reading this, please do not take offense. Though I’m sure some of you are truly gentlemen, there a lot of you out there that shouldn’t even be in the lifestyle.

Let’s start with the facts. In the lifestyle, single males are the least desired participants. Sorry guys, but it’s true. That’s why you guys have the unfortunate privilege of paying more than others at the few clubs that allow single males. With that said, there are a few things you guys should keep in mind.

For starters, before you sign up for any websites, or go to any clubs or parties, educate yourself on the lifestyle. I suggest this to anyone thinking of becoming a swinger, but especially for you guys, so you know what to expect and how to handle yourself. If you are reading this blog, you’re already off to a good start, but look further. There is lots of valuable information out there on the web on sites like swingerology.com, where you can learn the history of swinging, and common terminology.

Don’t be overly excited. This could make you come off as being pushy and over bearing which will immediately turn people off to your company. Honestly most couple are either looking for the golden unicorn (single female), or another couple to play with. Some females do not want to play with a male at all and other only want to play if their husbands are playing too, and since most guys are straight, this leave you lonely guys sitting on the sidelines.

One of the biggest no, no’s of all for you guys: don’t bring some unknowing female, who is your friend, to the party, and try to pass her off as your girlfriend. Just cause you’re a ôcoupleö doesn’t make you a COUPLE. If I have to explain that to you, then please stop reading now, and leave the lifestyle all together.

If you cannot handle rejection, this is not the lifestyle for you. It happens to everyone in the lifestyle. Even single females will face rejection, so don’t take it personal, just move on. But don’t couples hop. It’s a huge turn off to watch a single male pathetically hop from couple to couple trying to score. We are already avoiding you so we’ve already seen you in action, and watching this just makes us laugh and not even want to chat with you.

Now that I’ve bashed you guys, let me give some advice on what you should do to help with your success. Be confident, but not cocky. Make good conversation. Dress to impress. I’m not saying you have to wear a three piece suit, but don’t come out in your dirty jeans, wrinkled shirt, and 5 year old tennis shoes either. SHAVE, and I’m not just talking about your face. Smell nice, but don’t bathe in the cologne. And most importantly, be a gentlemen. Respect both the women and the men. Don’t go grabbing someone’s ass because they walked by naked in front of you and you think it’s a free for all. I assure you, it’s not and being disrespectful, will likely get you banned from the venue you are at. Common sense will take you far, but maybe not as far as you think so please do your research, and be respectful. Good luck to you all!

9:When & Where

We always wonder where would be the best places to meet people. Ok most of us are busy, so we may start online, but from there, before, or even after we make a connection, we wonder where would be a good place to go. Well let’s consider some options;

1.A swinger club
    – On premise
    – Off premise
2.Someone’s House
3.Hotel
4.A vanilla spot

A swinger club On premise Off premise Someone’s House Hotel A vanilla spot

Once we decide where we’re going, we need to set our expectations. We should be concerned with the extremes based on our experiences and what we are comfortable doing. The two extremes would range from basic meet & greet to ôHi lets fuck. I don’t even want to know your nameö. First let’s talk about the extremes then go into detail of these previous mention spots.

Generally a meet and greet is where you get so socialize with others in the lifestyle. It’s like going to a social where you might exchange number or get invited to a private party or even get advice on the best ôspotsö in your area. I think the come hither approach speaks for its self, there for I’ll leave it to your imagination.

Now let’s talk about the different types of venues you might find yourself at. Swing clubs are one of the more common places to meet others in the lifestyle. Off premise clubs are a lot like vanilla clubs, full of scantily clad women and their counter parts wearing anything from a t-shirt and jeans to a three piece suit. The difference here is you might catch a few ladies wearing only their Victoria Secrets and you might even catch a nipple or two. You’ll see more girl on girl than at a vanilla club and not as many guys drooling over it because the men there are probably with their wives and have probably seen it all before. Add some naked people, play rooms, and private play areas to that equation and you got yourself an on premise club. It only takes one person to strip down to their birthday suit and before you know it, if you’re still clothed, you will soon be the minority! Contrary to popular belief, on premise clubs are very pressure free, so if you’ve never been to one, don’t be afraid to check on out.

Someone’s house is usually one of the more intimate environments. This can be either meeting a couple you’ve been chatting with online or going to a private party at a residence. Lifestyle house parties are like on premise clubs without the DJ and valet parking. There are probably going to be people getting busy and you’ll probably see some guys Johnson or even walk in on full moon but there will almost certainly not be as many people there as you would see at a club. When meeting a couple at there private residence for drinks, my only advice is to be sure you have set your expectations and limits before you get there, and then be ready to change them. You never know when you might end up going further or not as far as you planned. Just make sure all parties are on the same page.

Being that I have yet to have a good experience at a hotel party, I will not say much on these. I’m not knocking them or saying they are not a good place to meet people. They sound great on paper. If you meet another couple or single that you’re into, you can easily get intimate as there is a bed somewhere near by whether in the room of the party of if you get your own room, but be sure you have researched the crowd you’re partying with.

Vanilla clubs and bars are the places you go everyday with your everyday friends. Now don’t be surprised if you see a little mild girl on girl at these spots as ladies night is common among girl friends, but it will possibly be nothing compared to what you’ll see at a lifestyle club or event. Vanilla clubs can definitely be fun spots to take your swinger friends too, but if you don’t want your vanilla friends to know about your alter egos, then don’t take both your groups of friends to the same spots. You will be setting yourself up for potential disaster.

Now that you know where to go, let me give you a few pointers about these places in general. You’ll find that a lot of lifestyle clubs, parties, and events are BYOB. The first time I was told an event was BYOB I didn’t believe, but they really are, so if you like to drink while you’re out, bring a bottle of your poison of choice. Mixers are usually provided for you either free or for and nominal fee. You will most likely be asked to pay a cover or to give a donation, which in the lifestyle, is the same exact thing. Ladies if you want to come fully covered and get your sexy on later, pack yourself a little bag. Guys, don’t forget to bring the condoms if your are not sure they will be provided, and for the very, very few of you that are well endowed, bring your own. And finally be sure that you truly do READ through all of the rules of the establishment you are going to, so that you don’t get caught with your pants down in a bad way.

Von & Roy

8:Get your fishing rod

I think it’s time for me to drop some knowledge on some of you swingers out there. I’m referring to those of you who sit back and wait for life to happen and then wonder why nothing good ever happens to you. If you want to be successful, then you have to make success happen. If you want to win the lottery, you have to buy a ticket. You want to win big money gambling, you have to bet high. If you want to drive a fancy car, you get a job making enough money to pay for it. Well, the same rules apply to swinging. I hear complaints from people in the lifestyle all the time. They say “I join these sites and no one ever contacts me, I went to a club or a meet and greet and no one talks to me. What am I doing wrong?” Well first of all if you want to be successful in finding whatever you are looking for in the lifestyle, whether it be another couple, a single female or even a single male, then you need to take the time to actually look at profiles in an attempt to contact those you are interested in. You have to talk to people at the parties and/or meet-n-greet if you want to triumph. Yes that’s right, you actually have to make an effort. I don’t care how sexy and attractive you think you are, your perfect match is not likely to just fall into your lap. Now if you don’t contact others, you may very well get several people contacting you that are interested, but are those going to be the people that you are wanting to interact with? Sometimes the answer may be yes, but you will get emails and messages from those you are not interested in too. Sometimes that will be the majority of people that contact or approach you. Don’t get mad at the site or the venues and claim that they are the problem. The problem may just be you.

Ladies I will give you the benefit of a doubt. You are probably use to being the one pursued, but this isn’t the typical relationship you are looking for so I suggest you get off your high horse and start putting in some work! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad. I’m simply dropping a little knowledge. I have met some really great people in the lifestyle and not cause they just fell in my lap or knocked on my door, but because effort was put in on both sides. So if you want be successful in the lifestyle, please put in at least a little effort. GOOD LUCK 

Von

7:Hide for the Holidays

It’s that time of the year when you hear Christmas carols at the mall, see eggnog next to the milk when you buy groceries. You probably have some family coming into town that will be staying with you so you’re cleaning and getting the blankets and the air mattresses ready. You might find yourself putting up a tree or lights and decorating your house with red and green, but if you are having company, you might want to make sure you do some “additional” cleaning that most people don’t have to worry about. For example, if your computer is in an area that it can be accessed by others, say your visiting family, you might want to make sure that the picture of your wife getting banged by that guy while she was servicing his wife, is not in the same folder as the pictures you took of little Susie in her Halloween costume. You also might consider clearing your cache in your browser so that Cousin Cindy’s 13 year old son Bobby doesn’t come to the dinner table asking “Mommy, what’s a swinger and why does Uncle John have pictures with a naked lady that’s not Aunt Jane?”

Most of us in the lifestyle are big on discretion, so this time of year it is key to remember to be discreet and “clean up after yourself”. It’s embarrassing enough for grandma to find a naked picture of you on your computer while she was being nosing and snooping through your digital pictures, but that can probably be expected as she knows the stork didn’t really drop your kids off at the door. It is however, an entirely different level of embarrassment when good old granny finds a picture of you and your wife/husband with several different partners and the pictures are obviously recent cause your wife just got that tattoo 3 months ago. I think you all catch my drift.

So to start, if you only have one computer that others will have access to, create a guest account for them to use with limited permissions. Make sure your account is password protected on your login screen. You might also want to put your ôprivateö collection photos in their own folder and make sure that folder is hidden, just in case. You might also want to make sure you deleted those pictures off of the memory card in your digital camera, since they don’t mix well with pictures of the family you might be taking during the week. These are all just examples of precautions that you may want to take to ensure that everyone has a memorable holiday at your house, but not one that you wish they could forget.

We hope you all take good care of your loved ones this holiday season and continue to be super safe both in and out of the lifestyle.

Von @ swingerology

6:Where is his photo?

On many swinger websites like ours ‘www.swingerology.com’ you can post a picture of yourselves as a couple, but it always seems to be one sided. Yes, we all want to see the sexy female, she is most of the time bi so most other females and males can enjoy. If he is going to be participating shouldn’t he have a picture up too? I mean you two both do make a couple, right? Now, this is only for a select amount of people, but it seems to be that it’s the male part of that couple that has created the profile, and to attract other couples he puts all the sexy pics he can find of his other half and maybe a dick shot of him. Wait, a min, I read their profile and it’s not a situation where he’s allowing her to go out and get bucked naked by herself, he wants to join too, but doesn’t want to post any eye candy of himself for the lady on the other side. Is he shy? Little dick? Or does he just want to wait until everyone gets all drunk and horny off of his wife then he jumps in?

I don’t know how everyone else feel about males not having a good profile picture, but I think if you both are going to be joining these sites and looking for your perfect swinger match, you should have at least some good pictures of him. It is very likely that if you are both looking for full swap or if you would be hanging out with other couples, you don’t want to be kicking it with BugaWolf and the princess. More than likely, you as a couple, want to have fun with the other couples and maybe even get lucky. Lets be honest, we are attracted by what we see first, and first impressions counts. So guys, when you create these profiles, don’t be afraid to put a good pic of yourself up too. You too females, keep your man in mind, he may want to play too, post your sexist pic of him you can find. This is of course if you both are going to do the traditional swinging mfmf mffm.

Roy

5:The Green Swingers

This is for all of my newbie swingers. If you’ve never been to a lifestyle club, it can be quite intimidating. We all have been there. You don’t know exactly what to expect and all you have to go off of is the websites you’ve been to and the people you’ve chatted with on yahoo or msn. You probably went to the club website and read the typical description of what to expect. Gentlemen are expected to come nicely dressed and ladies can where whatever they want or whatever they don’t want to be seen in, but they are expected to be sexy. If it’s an on-premise club you will probably see some type of disclaimer about not being offended by what you see or you may even be required to go to a meet and greet or an orientation before you can be admitted for the first time into the club.

Now I can only communicate to you what to expect based on my personal experiences, but let me try to offer a little insight. First let’s cover off premise clubs. These are definitely good for first time experiences as you won’t be overwhelmed by what you see. In fact you may not “see” much more than you’ve seen at a vanilla club. The difference will be the two girls kissing are actually married to the closet set of drooling guys. You’ll probably see some petting and you may catch a nipple or two. Expect to see a few ladies in their sexy lingerie and expect to see some that probably should have covered up a little more than just the private parts!

Let’s get to the goods now, on premise clubs. Going to this clubs is like going to see an action movie. There are 3 parts to the night. The build up: this is where people are us chatting and drinking and possibly dancing. You’ll see the seasoned swingers meeting up with friends and chatting it up, exchanging hugs and kisses. You’ll also see other newbies and the unmistakable “hunters” who are probably checking you out, but that’s a whole other story I’ll tell some other time. There may even be some ice breaker games to get you conversing with new people. The next stage is the climax. This may come on suddenly and unexpected. You might happen to be taking a sip of your beer, wine, or mixed drink, and see someone walk by you naked. Then you’ll look around and see that about half the people there are naked or half way their. You’ll notice that the place looks about half empty but not because everyone has left, but because people are making good use of the play areas. The third and final stage is the wrap up. This is the part of the evening before the evening ends. Everyone has had their fun or they are taking their entertainment elsewhere. You see people exchanging numbers and kissing good night and you may have officially christened the club yourself.

Hopefully the insight I offer has helped to ease as least a couple of your concerns about your upcoming experience. I do have a couple of tips for you to help your first experience at a lifestyle club to be enjoyable. Whether you end up at an on premise or an off premise club, don’t feel obligated to play. No really does mean no and most people accept it without argument. Also, BYOB really does mean you can bring your own liquor so don’t feel ashamed to show up with a six pack or a bottle of your favorite wine. Trust me you won’t be the only one. Ladies, dress in layers. If you are not comfortable walking in the club wearing your sexy lingerie then wear a dress over it so you can wear less as the evening wears on, or bring it with you in a bag if you think you might feel like changing later. Guys dress nice and smell good. Last but not least, relax and have fun.

4:Hello & Hello Back

I see it all the time. It happens more often than you would think and it happens to everyone. You meet someone online, whether it be a couple or a single. They send you a message saying they like your profile and want you to check out theirs. You do and decide that their fantasies and ideas of swinging coincide with your so you give then you yahoo or msn handle so you can chat. The inevitable picture swapping starts out well enough with you both showing a pic from your profile to see who will bring something new to the table first. Of course now you want to see a face pic and they deliver. Now you find yourself wondering “what the hell” as you are completely turned off by their looks. How do you get yourself out of this situation? How do you say “hey the conversation was great till I saw your face”. Oh and they just told you they love your pics.

Now you don’t want to be rude or burn bridges by just closing the chat, so ladies and gentlemenwhat is the proper way to let them down at this point? How do you say “I’m/We’re not interested” after showing so much interest before that very moment? The answer is as simple and complicated as the very situation you are in. The truth is there is no easy way to do it. You can’t say I’m not attracted to you cause your one brown tooth is just not attractive or the fact that you look like a monkey mated with a lizard just isn’t appealing to me and expect it to come across positive. The best thing to do though is to tell them cause it would be even worse to lead them on, cause believe it or not, it really is a small world and you never know when you might be at the club hanging out and guess who comes up and taps you on the shoulder? The very people you thought you’d never have to see so a little lie wouldn’t hurt. So what do you say then when they ask you what you think? Well I find it’s easiest to be completely honest. They can take it or leave it but in the end they should respect you for being honest.

They may call you superficial, but the truth is you’re not looking for a soulmate or to get married, as you probably are already married or at least involved in a serious relationship. Swinging is about fantasyand no body fantasizes about getting busy with a boogawolf. The truth of the situation is this: No matter how pretty you and your partner think you both are, there is always someone out there that will disagree with you so don’t take it personal if you are not what someone is looking for, and expect to be disappointed sometimes when you see someone’s picture. If your not interested tell them and make it easy for people to tell you if your are not their type.

Author:Von @ swingerology

3:Lady and the Tramp

So many times I see a swinger couple that doesn’t match. The female is as sexy as she can be. Now that doesn’t mean that she has to be a perfect 10, but she came to the club looking her best. Then you see the guy with her, and you wonder what the &*@ happened to him. He looks like he just climbed out of bed or like he hasn’t showered or shaved in weeks, but when he comes to the club with his lady, he expects to get laid by another well kept beautiful women.

Gentlemen, please have more respect for yourself or at least for the women you’re going to be out drooling over. I hear a lot of guys say they like a lady that “shaves south of the border”. Well guess what guys the ladies don’t like hair in their teeth either. Now ladies, you are not innocent in these situations, because you let him come out looking like that. Don’t be selfish girls. Take care of your man and make sure he looks good enough to eat! Take care of yourself. Shower and shave before you come to the club and dress to impress.

I’m not saying you have to wear a three piece suit, but look nice, and smell good, and you get further and be more successful.

Von @ Swingerology

2:How do I get into Swinging

A common question among the curious is: How do I get into swinging? Although this should definitely be one of the first questions that comes to mind, it is not the best question to ask. If you are in a relationship and are interested in the lifestyle, you must first master the art of communication with your partner. Most “green” couples that I have met have barely spoken about swinging before the find themselves either in a lifestyle club or even worse, in a situation wondering how they got there, what they got themselves into and/or how to get out of the situation with their relationship still intact. If you are not comfortable talking about what you like with your partner sexually and if you and your partner have not mastered you own sex life, then swinging is probably not the road to take just yet.

For those of you that have a great sex life and are looking for spice, you are on the right track, but you must lay some ground rules first. There is no right or wrong answer, as long as both parties are comfortable with the rules. Gentlemen, if you are itching to have sex with another woman and think that a threesome is going to be the perfect addition, then you also need to wrap you mind around the fact that you wife is probably going to eventually if not up front, want to get busy with another guy. If you can’t handle that, then swinging is not for you. For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, women rule the world of sex.

Don’t believe me? Keep this in mind before you doubt my theory. Women have been deciding the who, the when, and the where of their sex lives since they where little girls and learned that boys don’t have cooties. Little boys have been trying to get in their pants since they learned what an erection was and most women have mastered, in some way, the skill of getting what they want before sex is even on the table, whether that’s love or a new car! So fellas, take care of your woman, be prepared for her to be more into it than you are, and she’ll take care of you. The bottom line is, make sure your relationship is as healthy as it can be before you decide to bring someone else into it cause thatÆs the last thing you want is for something that was supposed to make you closer, becoming the end of your relationship.

Author:Von @ swingerology

1: How to Introduce Swing

I was browsing and ran into this great article and thought i would be great to put on here and see what you guys taught

A swinger’s lifestyle is not a lifestyle for everyone. It is not your typical relationship or choice. A swinger lifestyle for a married couple is something that has to be a mutual desire on both parts. It is a lifestyle where trust issues, jealousy issues and insecurity issues may not come into play. Therefore, respect, unselfishness, support and communications must always be a key factor in your relationship at all times. There is no room for confusion, instability or doubt because it can ruin your relationship.

If you finally decide this is a lifestyle for you, then this lifestyle should be an enrichment of your marriage and partnership. Everything must be discussed and agreed upon before the actual encounter. The discussion should be based on each of your individual fantasies, needs and desires. Communication is a key factor always. Be open to any questions and answers that may be brought up and be prepared to answer then truthfully. One of these questions may be, why do you want to swing? Take your time in answering. It takes time to become totally comfortable with the whole idea. Always remember that pushing someone that you love into doing something that they are not comfortable with may cost you your marriage.

You should first, go to a swingers club. There is always less pressure in a social gathering where this lifestyle is totally acceptable. This is a much safer and less stressful way to ôget your feet wetö with the lifestyle. Here you will see and talk to people who have your same ideals and fantasies. Your first visit may only be to watch couples engage in group sex. It may take several months of ôjust watchingö before you actually participate in the swinging. In any case, this experience will be extremely important for the newbie couple.

Just remember that swinging is a way of life, not just a fad.

Author: Eddie Delgado

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