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Thread: The Double Standard
 

 Mar 16, 2011 09:12:50 PM
Nphxcpl4fun
Posts: 592
Responses: 988
Location: PHOENIX,AZ

The Double Standard
First let me say the male here is actually totally straight. Now, that said what is with the double standard. So many people seek the elusive unicorn, that hot, single fully bi chick who wants to be the occasional 3rd for your fmf fantasies. They are ever sought after and always welcome.

BUT, the bi male, single or in a committed long term relationship is fully shunned. He is scoffed at and ridiculed, avoided and ignored.

In your opinion, why is this?


 Mar 16, 2011 10:00:36 PM
Want2knowus
Posts: 592
Responses: 988
Location: PHOENIX,AZ
Level: swingerology_vip
I would say there are several reasons, but the number one reason is: females run the swinger world. It may not be fair but it's something that we all come to realize on some level while entertaining ourselves in the lifestyle.

Whether you are soft swap, full swap, or somewhere in between, sex is a game of cat and mouse. Most men in the lifestyle are straight. At least 50% of women in the lifestyle are bisexual or bicurious. There is no mystery for a woman to be with another man as she probably has a few notches on her belt, but to be with another woman is intriguing, mysterious, and fun. Women are soft and sensual and less hairy too. There are not many men in the lifestyle that will turn down the chance to be with another female so it comes down to a simple case of supply and demand. Women want to try other women. Men want to try other women. I'm not saying no one wants to add another man in the mix, but generally, and especially green couples, want to add another women.

Also there is the fact that with men, you may not know what you are getting until he drops his pants. He may not be packing much heat, and for any ladies out there that have found themselves feeling like they got the short end of the stick, the idea of unwrapping another disappointing package may be discouragement enough.

The last reason I'll touch one is the approach. Whether part of a couple or single, men tend to be more aggressive in their approach. Lets be honest. A lot of single men are in the lifestyle simply to have sex with as many women as possible. I'm sure there not many women out there that have not felt treated like a piece of meat by a man, and men with this attitude mess it up for everybody.

I'm sure there are many other reasons than these that men are treated like second class citizens in the lifestyle, but these are a few of the more popular one.

HTH

 Mar 17, 2011 12:44:34 AM
Lookyloo6943more
Posts: 592
Responses: 988
Location: SUMMERVILLE,SC
Level: swingerology_vip
we have had the elusive unicorns come to us ... we found that most people chase them and since we haven't they approach just like a skittish colt lol we have had LOTS of guys approach and most of them seem to lose their manners here ... whether married or single ... because of this my wife doesn't speak or chat with most till we meet in person ... so I tend to be the filter ... I could go on and tell you some of the rude things I've been told but suffice it to say the rude men can definitely turn off alot of couples in their approach ... Most guys fantasize about two women at the same time and a 2nd guy whether str8 or bi still intimidates most males ... newbies especially ... don't fret just go with the flow and understand if you remain steadfast you'll find some partners

 Jun 28, 2011 05:37:23 PM
Samanthawilli
Posts: 592
Responses: 988
Location: sedan,ks

I did not know that there was such a double standard until I started reading about the lifestyle online. Based on our little group, there is no double standard at all. We all play well together. Several of the men, including my husband, have become completely open to any advances from the more dominant Men in the group, and over time several of them have become more and more frequent with their demands.

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