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Thread: Getting Started pt 1 The Fantasy

 Jul 08, 2009 02:59:18 PM
Posts: 592
Responses: 988
Location: SATSUMA,FL

Getting Started pt 1 The Fantasy

Ok Kiddies, Set the way back machine to the early 80ís, circa 1982... A song that made its way on to radios and MTV, and made it to the top 25 is playing all summer long, with a strange beginning, that leads to the sounds of lazers firing, and then the song kicks in:

Summer breeze makes you feel alright
Neon lights shining brightly make your brain ignite

See the girls with the dresses so tight
Give you love if the price is right

Black or white
In the streets there's no wrong and no right

so forget all that you see
It's not reality

It's just a fantasy

Can't you see
What this crazy life is doing to me

Life is just a fantasy
Can you live this fantasy life

Out- a- site
Buy your kicks from the man in the white

Feels alright
Powder pleasure in your nose tonight

See the men paint their faces and cry
Like some girl it makes you wonder why

City life sure is cool
But It cuts like a knife

It's your life

Now while some of the lyrics are references to cocaine and hookers.. The over all tone of the song asks a important question.. Which is why I chose this to start my blog, and the series..

In many ways, for new people that want desperately to get into this lifestyle, its all starts with a fantasy.

For most every guy other there, the fantasy of being with more than one woman at a time is usually there.. Observing some form of bi sexual contact, and then being included, leading to an all out fuck-fest, while satisfying both women. Which can be the kindling for getting a fire started. The fire in this case, the idea of getting into this wide world of fun..

BUT, there is an important factor that has to be taken into account for any couple, married or not, that begins these initial thought/talks.. What are the other persons turn ons .. Or maybe more to the point until the first actual experience, what are their fantasies?

Yísee, After having talked to dozens of other people within the lifestyle, we have found that often itís the man who brings the topic of swinging up to his girlfriend/wife. Its not always the case but, usually it is the guy. And when they do, its more often than not, its because of one of their fantasies..

Now lets take a reality check here..

When we get married, hopefully we know the person we are choosing to attempt to spend the rest of our lives with. More than often the idea of swinging, in one form or another is brought up after a few years of marriage. Not always again, but we have found its usually the case.

Now here is the reality check , Did you discuss your fantasies before you got married?.. Lets suppose you arent married, in any case, did you put all your all your fantasies out there?

If you did then the idea of her being the special entertainment during halftime of your superbowl party, or Surprising you for your birthday with the addition of a scantily clad female friend for you both to enjoy isnít foreign ..

See where this headed..

Introducing the idea of swinging, from left field is much the same.. If after years of marriage, or a committed relationship, You suddenly introduce the idea of bringing in another , or seven whoevers, is going to cause serious harm.. Even if they donít let on right away.

It will cause the other person to immediately start to question, Whats going on? Arent I satisfying them? Are they looking to cheat? And of course the biggest one..

Where did this all come from?

If you are honest about what spins the brain cells, and gets things moving in the excited sexual direction then the idea of doing/seeing/partaking in such activities is coming from left field.

Now, this is why, swinging requires trust between a couple, married or not..

The easiest way to start down the path to begin is by sharing your fantasies, the both of you. It might come as a shock, when the sweet demure little woman you fell in love with, finally confides in you that the idea of being taken by a group of guys and forced or used, for their pleasure all night really turns her on. Just like it might come as a shock to her, when you tell her something you havenít after all this time. Who knows, maybe its time to tell her you would love for her to tie you up and have her way with you..

Remember Fantasy, has NOTHING to do with reality.. Just because she says it doesnít mean she really wants to be RAPED, And while you might want to submit, who knows maybe some of the stuff in your fantasy isnít as appealing in real life..

Again See where this is headed?

By sharing your fantasies, it gives you both a new level of intimacy, and also tells you some of the things that turn each other on.

Now, some wont admit to it, will flat out deny it, but, just like most every guy has a fantasy about 2 women, most every woman has a fantasy about having 2, and in some cases more guys pleasuring her at the same time..

Please note the word use.. PLEASURING HER .. Not just FUCKING, SUCKING, LICKING, BITING.. But Pleasuring.. Meaning, because its her fantasy, the mystery lovers already KNOW what she wants, and when.. If she wants the right nipple lightly bitten, the ďghostĒ there does it, at just the right time.. While the ghost between her legs is busy doing EXACTLY what she wants.. Fingers, tongue whatever..

Now, what does this all mean? It means that, by sharing the fantasy with you, you have an idea of what SHE is thinking, and what SHE is getting turned on by. If you understand what she is finding a turn on, then you know what she might be agreeable to, as far as the lifestyle goes..

Sometimes we start out with our fantasy in mind and end up in a different place, but none the less, just as erotic and stimulating..

Now comes the part that really needs to be paid attention to..

Ideally, you have been sharing these fantasies all along, and as much as she has told you, you have told her all yours..

Use the fantasy play as foreplay for a night of great sex, between you both, but do it a bit differently.. Say for the sake of argument, the multiple lover fantasy I just outlined is one of hers.. Get in bed get started, and start talking about it, but become INTERACTIVE within the fantasy.. If the ghost between her legs is doing this, ask her and what if while he is doing that I was toÖ become an active part, and maybe instead of a ghost, give her a plastic lover, to fill the gaps, so to speak.. LoL .. But seriously, the idea is to get the fantasy working toward REALISM.. So that when its suggested in REALITY, they might already want to try it.

Now then how do you use these pearls of wisdom.. Lets suppose that for the better part of the time you have been in your relationship you both have been sharing fantasies, as foreplay, we did.. And you really cant wait to get started.. Well, the next step is to have an honest conversation about it, Far from the bedroom. Explain yourself to them, and that, despite the activities involved, it has nothing to do with LOVE, but PLEASURE..

This lifestyle has been called swinging, extra curricular sex, sport sex, and a dozen other things.. itís a bit hard for some to see it, but Sex like any other activity, doesnít require an emotional component.. In many cases, its TRUST, not emotion..

Itís the same thing as when you were dating, was it LOVE that made them say yes to sleeping with you, or was it that they TRUSTED you?

Ok, I can tell you, 97% of the time it will be NO.. which means two things, if you are in the lucky 3%.. WAH YOO! And if you arenít, its something they need to feel more comfortable with.. There might be a few other issues.. All of which I will discuss in further ďchaptersĒ

So, lets sum up.. The reason that the song was outline is because it asks a serious question.. Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life.. Which actually should be..
Life is just a fantasy, BUT can you live this fantasy life..

The answer is a bit difficult, because nothing in life is ever easy.. But Yes you can.. If you are willing to be open and honest with your SO.. And they are with you as well.. And remember Sharing fantasies requires a level of TRUST, as well as COMMUNICATION..

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