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Thread: would being a swinger destroy the love you feel for your partner? can it really bring you closer together?
 

 Oct 23, 2010 11:34:36 AM
Asked2Swingers
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would being a swinger destroy the love you feel for your partner? can it really bring you closer together?
im afraid If we choose to swing I could loose the way I love my wife. Im so head over heals in love with my wife its not funny. I love her so much, and I cant stop thinking about her. all day everyday im fantasizing about her. The way she smells, and how she does her hair. Im infatuated with her big time. If she even walks by me (and she's always wearing such sexy clothes too!) so she'll walk by and I instantly start picturing her just running up to me and throwing herself on me making out and exe.... We've been together 10 years now and somehow this last year I just started really really liking her, and everyday It gets worse!! So what im getting at is I don't want to loose this feeling I have for her.
I also really like the idea of swinging. I picture someone rubbing my wife's arm and her getting the chills, it just makes me melt! I think about her being with someone else after 10 years and getting this incredible rush and I want her to feel that so bad! I don't even care if only she does it I want to make her feel more, and I want to feel more love from her.am I crazy fo considering this?? I thought doing a couples thing might be a good slow Start for this lifestyle if we do this??


 Oct 27, 2010 10:55:56 PM
Mwc_seeks_female
Posts: 592
Responses: 988
Location: PHOENIX,AZ
Level: swingerology_vip
For us, swinging is about being fun and adding another level of excitement to our relationship. For me, no one will ever replace my wife, ever. We enjoy the fun and thrill of the threesome experience. We are very selective on who we "play" with which we feel makes our experiences better and more full filling. Basically not a booty call. We have to click with the person and if that happens its just more enjoyable for everyone. We know this because we have made that mistake before.

To the last persons post/statement. If I am reading your statement correctly it almost sounds like you might be interested in the lifestyle of cuckold. Google it. If I am wrong, please except my apology. Different things get each of us going. That's just more variety. Best of luck!

 Oct 23, 2010 11:48:37 AM
SwingerGuest_XIII
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Just because you fantasize something doesn't mean you will actually enjoy enacting it. Sort of like fantasizing yourself jumping out of a helicopter without a parachute and magically being able to land safely. It's a fun idea, but in reality, you definitely wouldn't enjoy it because it's not possible. I'll admit that I've had thoughts about this too, even though I've actually never been in a relationship. The thing is that whenever you add other people to it, many times results can be absolutely disastrous. The point is that there are many different levels of sex, and with a partner you deeply love and care for, it's one of the highest forms. To get into the habit of swinging pretty much lowers it down to almost a degrading level. At that level, all you really need is the goods with no other elements.

Honestly, if you really want to do this, I won't stop you because it's really none of my business. Just make sure you really discuss this with her. From your details it doesn't sound like you have, but maybe you did and just didn't put it there. All I know is that you really need to prepare mentally and emotionally, both of you. And you have to ask yourself realistically if you really want to her someone you love so much with another man. And I mean take a time when you aren't horny to ask that question. Being really aroused causes people to lose mental awareness of what they are doing and make bad decisions as a result.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck.

 Oct 24, 2010 08:18:47 AM
SwingerGuest_J
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OK, 1st thing you need to do is communicate. You will hear this ad nauseum, mostly because it's true. You do sound like you have a solid relationship and aren't looking to fix anything (disastrous every time), but to add something to an already great relationship (potentially great fun).
The reality is seldom anything like the fantasy, and furthermore the ability to separate what you're doing from your relationship is key here. YOU might think it's hot visualizing her being touched by someone else, but she may think otherwise. You need to talk to her and see what she feels about such things.
therein stands your first hurdle. How to tell her that you'd like to add something (particularly someONE), without her freaking out and feeling that she's not enough for you anymore, your relationship is falling apart, etc. I believe that when the opportunity presents itself, for instance when you're together and see something about threesomes, swinging, etc., admit a somewhat embarrassing fantasy you have had about: *insert fantasy here*. See how she reacts to it and go from there. If she looks at you like you're mentally deficient you can rest assured the odds are not good. Anything better than that, all depends, you know her better than anyone here does so you'll just have to tackle that issue when you come to it.
Do keep this in mind: While a solid relationship, total honesty, solid communication, and the right mentality required to separate sex from love is essential, they are by no means a guarantee of success, either in your endeavors or the continuance of your marriage. Despite your best preparations, communication, & ground rules, there is always someone better, more exciting, and potentially devastating to your relationship out there (and that's not including all the ways things can just go wrong when bringing strangers into your bed). If you're not willing to take that risk, keep the fantasy a fantasy.

 Oct 26, 2010 05:32:46 AM
SwingerGuest_Dawn Pingleton
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ok im going to out my self and my wife her but her it go's we are swingers and we are happly married for 12 years we where swingers befor we meet hell thats how we meet i do know that for must swingers we are happier and only 10 present of swinger's end up devised wich is very cool we tack the idea of an afear and all that out of marriage and we are very good friends with every one we play with what u need to do is think about things like do u get jellos if a another guy makes a comment about her or if one of her guy friends gives her a hug and do u get pissed whim she talk's to someone that u know she has sleep with if the anser is no to all of the above thin cool talk to her about it but if the answer is yes to any of the above thin get that idea out of your mind and never go anywhere near it age an

 Oct 26, 2010 06:27:59 AM
SwingerGuest_Ducky
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We swing and I can say that it has made us even more into each other than we had been before we got into the lifestyle.
Swinging is very much a couples activity and it often creates a new bond that usually isn't part of a traditional relationship because swingers learn to talk and trust each other at a higher level than the average couple does.
Of course if that communication doesn't happen swinging can be a big black hole in your relationship.
If you are both comfy sharing your deepest darkest sexual fantasies and don't have a bunch of issues with each other like possessive natures and jealousy swinging can be super fun.
If you do have any issues... fix them first.

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