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Thread: Question about couples swingers?
 

 Nov 18, 2010 11:26:18 AM
Asked2Swingers
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Question about couples swingers?
My friends husband wants her to get into "sharing" eachother (yes sexually). He recommends that they go to a swingers club or look up places to find swingers cause he thinks it'll spice things up in the bedroom (he said he wants her to watch him have sex with another woman, and vice versa because it woul be a turn on). They have 4 children (all over 10 years) and my friend says that she always changes things up in the bedroom and buys sexy clothing and costumes, but it doesn't seem to be enough. He wants to sleep with other women while she watches...and watch eachother have sex with different people.

She's really confused and I don't know what to tell her because the first thing I would do is get a divorce, but that's just me.

HELPPPPPPP :(


 Nov 18, 2010 11:28:48 AM
SwingerGuest_Akiko Koga
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love is not ego
love is understand
love is respect a person
love make deep date over and over
what you didnt to somebody

that is your fault

 Nov 18, 2010 11:35:09 AM
SwingerGuest_Teresa
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She really needs to know what she wants. If she wants it the two of them need to set up some clear rules and boundaries. If she isn't sure about it she shouldn't do it. If he is really pushing her that's not fair. They really need to sit down and have a serious conversation about what they both want and need out of the marriage. If she does want it, there are quite a few websites and swingers clubs, but like I said she needs to KNOW that she wants it.

 Nov 18, 2010 12:00:14 PM
SwingerGuest_shadowsdreamisman
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Problems tougher when they become habits.

He demands. She gives.

He has a habit of getting what he demands. It's natural that she's afraid of what he'll do if she says "no".

You would not divorce if you and your man had the same routine. She is a person who doesn't think she can exist without this man. She is sensitive and weak on some important things.

For that reason, her feelings about sex mean little to her man. If she was being well pleased and made to feel special, she would have more trust in her man's desires...which she doesn't. She doesn't trust that he will protect their relationship while swinging. Some people can. I don't think this couple can.

She sits her man down calmly and says, "I used to be confused about what you wanted. I'm not confused any more."

She tells him she cannot swing. Period. More likely be able to jump high and land on Mars. It is that far from being OK with her. He can't swing for the same reason.

That swinging WILL consume and break up their marriage. That it might work for some people but not for them. She cannot be shakeable on this. Practice if necessary. That there are a thousand sex positions and toys to play with but she will not play with this marriage.

 Nov 18, 2010 08:55:20 AM
SwingerGuest_Swinger Husband
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If he is just expressing a fantasy, then divorcing him would be overreacting. Every man's eyes will wander and wonder what it's like to be on the wild side of things. My wife and I are swingers and we enjoy the lifestyle.

However, when we find things we aren't comfortable with...we either wait until the other one is comfortable or we don't do them at all.

If your friend's husband is willing to leave the fantasy as just that - a fantasy - then I don't see the harm. Maybe they could roleplay with a blow-up doll or a vibrator. It doesn't have to be the real thing. Not everyone is into that lifestyle.

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