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Thread: Confused, my husband wants me to be a swinger?
 

 Jan 24, 2011 07:07:27 AM
SwingerLoveSick
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Confused, my husband wants me to be a swinger?
my husband and his ex wife use to go to swinger clubs and were very open. Well he wants me to get into it and I am really not comfortable. He agreed that it wasn't a big deal but he confessed that he likes it and its apart of who he is. Is he unhappy with us? what should we do?


 Jan 24, 2011 07:25:19 AM
SwingerGuest_Ms. El
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It is a lifestyle that isn't for everyone. I've seen a lot of relationships ruined because of threesomes and swinging when one partner wasn't into it. It is amazing for some couples and can enhance a relationship, but if both partners aren't into it it will ruin you. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is unhappy. Most men would opt for an open relationship if they can get by with it, especially if he has had it in the past. If you don't want to do it, let him know it's not going to happen. It's not worth ruining your marriage over.

If it is something you think you might be into, my suggestion would be to go to a club. You can observe what goes on without physically doing anything. You can do whatever with your own spouse, or if you are uncomfortable you can leave. It is a no pressure situation. But ONLY if you are comfortable!

 Jan 24, 2011 07:26:34 AM
SwingerGuest_BK
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Did you know he was a swinger before you got married? My wife and I have been married for over 30 years and about 10 years ago we became swingers. We have met a lot of people in the lifestyle and a lot that want to be in the lifestyle. But swinging is not for everyone and no one should be pushed in to doing something they don't want to do. As for is he unhappy with you as a couple....well can't really answer that. Only he can. But please don't misunderstand. People who swing don't do so because they are unhappy with their spouse. They do so because sex is fun and everyone does it differently. It's like going to different restaurants and trying the same food. Everyone fixes it differently, even though they are all good. As for me I really enjoy sharing me sexual talents and love watching my wife please her partners. One more thing...Please note that we go to a lot of swinger's parties and sex is not allow at most of the parties we go to. There are a few on premises clubs but very few and just because you go, you don't have to have sex. One common rule with all good swinger's clubs and parties is "NO" means "NO".

 Jan 24, 2011 11:58:11 PM
Lookyloo6943more
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nobody should be pushed into the lifestyle if you're not comfortable all you can do is stand your ground ... however going to clubs and socializing doesn't mean you have to swing ... as long as you take it slow and at YOUR own pace you never know whom you might meet and be at least a little curious ... but don't rush anything

 Mar 09, 2011 07:00:22 AM
Nphxcpl4fun
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Location: PHOENIX,AZ

The surest way to make sure things do not work is to pressure a spouse into a lifestyle event. Even attending a meet n greet can be traumatic if someone is not comfortable. He may have had good intentions going into his relationship with you, That he could change, Or he thought he could bring it up and you would be all for it. I know many will think it unfair but it is not unlike marrying an reformed alcoholic, and him not letting you know he is one.

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